An engaged
couple from Madagascar who are studying at a university in Italy spoke of the
anxiety they felt when faced with the "forever" of Marriage. The Pope
explained that falling in love, being an emotion, is not eternal. "The
emotion of love must be purified", he said, "it must undertake a
journey of discernment in which the mind and the will also come into play. ...
In the rite of Marriage the Church does not ask whether you are in love but
whether you want, whether you are resolved. In other words, falling in love
must become true love; it must involve the will and the mind in a journey
(which is the period of engagement) of purification, of greater profundity so
that it is truly all of man, with all his capacities, with the discernment of
reason and the force of will, who says: 'Yes, this is my life'". The Holy
Father also mentioned other important factors such as communion of life with
others, with friends, the Church, the faith and God Himself.
A Brazilian
family raised the issue of divorced couples who have remarried and cannot avail
themselves of the Sacraments. Benedict XVI affirmed that "this is one of
the the great causes of suffering for the Church today, and we do not have
simple solutions. ... Naturally, one very important factor is prevention. This
means ensuring that, from the beginning, the act of falling love is transformed
in a more profound and mature decision. Another factor is that of accompanying
people during marriage, to ensure that families are never alone but find
authentic company on their journey. We must tell people in this situation that
the Church loves them, but they must see and feel this love". Parishes and
other Catholic communities "must do everything possible so that such
people feel loved and accepted, that they are not 'outsiders' even if they
cannot receive absolution and the Eucharist. They must see that they too live
fully within the Church. ... The Eucharist is real and shared if people truly
enter into communion with the Body of Christ. Even without the 'corporeal'
assumption of the Sacrament, we can be spiritually united to Christ". It
is important for divorced couples "to have the chance to live a life of
faith, ... to see that their suffering is a gift for the Church, because they
also help others to defend the stability of love, of Marriage; ... theirs is a
suffering in the community of the Church for the great values of our
faith".
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